It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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