Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
