so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
