We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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