You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
