gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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