He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
