dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize