if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
