I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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