I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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