: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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