I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
