What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
