i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
