im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
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I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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