just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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