Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
