you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
