And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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