cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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