She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
