I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
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also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
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I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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