I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
