Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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