Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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