porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
third nipple confirmed
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
