if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
