I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
