Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
