We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
