You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
