ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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