mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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