smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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