I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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