what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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