I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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