Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
