When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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