dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
