.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
