Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
