i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize