My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
