Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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