I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize