Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
