You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
