Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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