Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
