theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
