my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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