I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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