Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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