His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
